I’d like to start this off by gushing over the fact that Violet chooses no man at the end. Too often in movies, Black women are shown that we must go for the man that’s outside our preference to find happiness, or we end up alone (not by our decision) and regretting our life choices (I’m looking at you Tyler Perry). It was refreshing to see a Black woman CHOOSE herself over anything. Throughout the beginning of the movie Violet felt like a close friend who I wanted to grab by the face and yell “these men aren’t shit! What are you going through all the extra stuff for them for?” On a serious a note, it’s easy in this age of third wave feminism and social media to give a woman shit about being a “pick me”. No judgement or anything, but that is exactly what Violet started the movie out as… a “pick me”. For those who aren’t present on Twitter, a “pick me” is a person who goes the extra mile for the attention of a group or even just one person in particular. “Pick mes” are often called out for changing their looks, ideas, and even goals in order to be the person that they think their target or targets want. They get a lot of shit, but I can guarantee that every one has been or will be one at some point in their life. Isn’t the desire for companionship and attention a basic human characteristic? Anyway, that’s another topic for another time. Since I like how the movie was broken down in four parts, I’ll do the same here.
Straightened
Violet had a slim chance of being any other way with the mother she has. Quickly the audience finds that Violet’s mother is the reason she feels the need to be “perfect”. Her father tries to be a saving grace, reminding her that she doesn’t need a man. But like in many families, the matron’s voice sets the tone for the child’s life. Obviously as a young black girl, hair was a notable factor in my life, but there was no way I would let it get in the way of my play time. Though I can’t relate to the whole “perfect hair at all times” mantra, I can relate to the whole “using you inside voice thing.” My mom made sure that I was the most mannerable, easygoing, agreeable little girl one can find. Just like Violet’s mom, I’m sure my mom had great intentions; but, I’ve spent my twenties trying to break out of this box she’s built around me.
Lynn Whitfield is great at playing this type of mom (Greenleaf, Cheetah Girls, etc). Violet’s mom is so involved in her life that she felt the need to go over at five in the morning just to see what Violet believes is an engagement ring. In her excitement Violet says “we’ve been preparing for this moment” which only further proves that her mom has literally been grooming her for the perfect man. Violet’s perfect man is a tall, handsome, and young doctor whom she won’t allow to touch her hair, even during sex. I can’t blamer her though, her mom comically touched up her hair just so she will look perfect when he rolls over and looks at her. I question the sanity of any man who thinks it’s normal for a woman to wake up with a face full of makeup and laid hair sans a bonnet.
It’s obvious that Violet feeds off the attention that her looks get her. It’s evident in the way that her hips sway and her hair flips even harder when she passes by men on her way to a business meeting. The audience finds out that Violet works in marketing/advertising and her clients are mainly beauty companies. Who better to sell beauty than a woman who embodies the media’s standard of beauty? Violet’s obsession with her hair is magnified when she constantly asks about the weather to make sure she doesn’t get caught in the rain. Ironically enough, Violet is sprayed by a child (whom she was just gushing over) with a water hose, and her perfect hair is ruined. Desperate to be picture ready for her birthday dinner, Violet frantically finds a place to get her hair done since she can’t get in touch with her usual stylist or her mother. Luckily, she lives in Atlanta where hair salons are just as abundant as gas stations and liquor stores.
While in the chair, Violet has a strange exchange with Zoe (Daria Johns) who the audience soon finds out is the daughter of the owner of the shop, Will (Lyriq Bent). Now, I’m sure this man is meant to be some type of reassuring figure that reminds Black woman that we should love our natural hair. The most eye roll inducing scene in this movie (and there’s a lot of them) is when he comforts a woman who believes that Black men only love long hair by saying “brothers like a woman who’s real”… but I just may be bias since his character in “She’s Gotta Have It” annoyed the hell out of me. Zoe thinks Violet’s insults warrants her to put relaxer in her conditioner which ultimately takes out Violet’s hair. Violet demands the best weave Will can find.
